Choose a Girl

Sometimes the teasing & banter back-and-forth, speaking in code (especially while others are around) can be quite thrilling too, so don’t rule out dirty talk in person. So, it looks like a lot of our followers feel turned on by dirty talk (in the right context) but feel awkward starting it or uncomfortably because they don’t feel they know what to do. Obviously, when we’re in bed with an activity partner, serious or casual, small talk isn’t necessarily what’s on your mind. This week, Jess invites professional sex educator (and professional pervert), Carly S., to the podcast. The pair discuss why dirty talk is such an important form of communication in relationships and how effective it can be when used properly.

Tips for Easing Into Dirty Talk

It’s the surprise twist in your love story, keeping things fresh, exciting, and utterly captivating. Dirty talk during the day creates an electric atmosphere, fostering anticipation for an intimate night ahead. Playful exchanges and seductive promises turn every moment into a thrilling countdown to a passionate rendezvous, intensifying the connection and excitement between partners. A naughty message, note, or a walk-by whisper is always a good idea. These quick messages will build his excitement which will help him burst later on. Use any of these examples – the timing and format are up to you.

Naughty:

If you tell your man, “I love your butt in those jeans” but you are not even looking at him and your body language is completely closed off, then he’ll know that you don’t really mean what you are saying. But if you maintain eye contact and are facing him and touching him while telling him what body part you’re touching or you want him to touch then it’s going to much more effective. The Best Women’s Erotica of the Year volumes, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, are a great place to start. You might also try listening with your partner to the storytelling erotica app Dipsea or any number of other audio erotica apps. You are responsible for your own behavior, and none of the advice on this website is to be considered legal or medical advice. The information contained on this website is a personal opinion and it should be used for personal entertainments purposes only.

It’s a good idea to sharpen your erotic tongue and mind. Pore through some women’s erotic fiction like 50 Shades of Grey. You do have to learn how to think and talk sexier.

Finally, it keeps you man thinking about you when you’re not around. Part of the appeal of talking dirty is the anticipation of what’s to, well, come. So describing exactly what you plan to do to your partner before you actually do it helps to build up sexual tension.

• If you don’t like “pussy,” then it’s going to be difficult to make yourself sound sexy saying it.
• But if expressing yourself through words isn’t necessarily your thing, spicing up your language can seem intimidating.
• Learn to be ok with the clunky,” says Alice Child, a sexologist and relationship therapist at the sexual wellness platform SheSpot.
• Dirty talk is all about expressing your erotic desires, kinks, and fantasies.
• BLAC® is the premier lifestyle magazine for African Americansin and around Detroit.
• A lot of the time, when people think of “dirty talk,” they think of the sort of graphic and vulgar dialogue used in porn.

Cordingley suggests just practicing some racy words or phrases out loud when you’re alone so you can get more comfortable hearing yourself say them. One possible reason is that degrading language is considered taboo and therefore activates the brain’s fear responses in the amygdala—which also controls excitement and pleasure. “Another part of the explanation is that wanting to be called demeaning names is a form of masochism—the act of deriving pleasure from pain,” Lehmiller explains. Tongue-tied in the bedroom and scared to cross a line? We have tips and tricks for turning your partner on without saying the wrong thing. The personas you create need not be a reflection of who you really are or even what you normally like.

However, discussing boundaries and consent is crucial to ensuring both partners are comfortable and enjoy the experience. “The right time to start talking dirty is after you’ve actually had a conversation about it,” says sexuality educator Ashley Manta. Before trying anything new in the bedroom, it’s always important to negotiate with your partner, first. And even if they’re up for it—in theory—there may be some words or phrases that might be triggering and that they’d like you to avoid. Well firstly, it’s important to note that everyone starts from somewhere and it’s completely natural to feel a little shy when it comes to expressing your desires and fantasies.